10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming Your Parent’s Caregiver

 

How is it that one man’s dream is another’s worst nightmare? This seems to be the norm when it comes to our older generation who want to spend their golden years in the home they worked so hard to have. Unfortunately, their dream can quickly turn into a nightmare for their children who are tasked to take care of them as they get older.

 

Seniors wanting to live independently are occasionally inflexible and obstinate.

It’s understandable wanting to live at home, but sometimes it isn’t the most practical decision. Even though there are many different alternatives to retirement centers, the belief that there is no place like home holds true for most. Seniors who wish to remain in their homes until their last days, must be able to take care of themselves for the most part. The reality is that more often than not, this isn’t the case. This raises the question, "Who will be their caregiver?"

 

Being your parent’s caregiver is a full-time job. Adult children often feel obligated to do so, and most of the time, the sole responsibility falls directly onto one person’s shoulders. Before you take on this massive responsibility, there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you make a final decision.

 

What are the sacrifices I will need to make to able to take care of my parents?

1. Will I be able to give my own family enough quality time?
2. From a financial aspect, is it affordable?
3. How understanding is my employer about the situation?
4. Is my job in jeopardy due taking time off from work to care for my parents?
5. Will I lose possibility for advancement at work?
6. Do I fully understand what is involved?
7. Am I able to provide a satisfactory level of care in comparison to a trained professional?
8. How will my spouse and children feel about my absence?
9. Is it possible to have time for myself without feeling guilty?

Keep in mind that your decision will not only impact you, but your own family as well. If you think you are unable to be your parents caregiver, don't feel ashamed.

The dedicated staff at Visiting Angels in Las Vegas understand. We know how much you love your parents, but we also understand that you have other obligations that demand your attention. Call us today to talk about the possible options. Together we can find a solution that makes everyone smile.

Alzheimer’s Hostess Personality

In certain situations, older adults suffering from Alzheimer’s can display an uncanny ability to function normally. One of the most common situations where seniors with Alzheimer’s exhibit normal functionality is during visits to the doctor. The ability to conceal characteristics of dementia for a given duration is referred to as a Hostess Personality.





The emergence of a Hostess Personality has sometimes been accredited to fear and denial. If a person with Alzheimer’s is afraid of the repercussions of a doctor’s appointment, they will do their best to appear perfectly normal when they are with the doctor.

The Selective Engagement Theory

As a person gets older, their energy levels reduce, especially if they have a condition like Alzheimer’s. The reduction forces them to choose the activities that merit the use of their restricted personal resources. Any activities that are deemed relevant are undertaken while those of less importance are ignored.

The carrying out of complex mental tasks is more taxing for seniors with Alzheimer’s. They have to work harder to finish an activity and need a longer recovery time once they are done. The result is that they usually tend to sleep a lot after any mentally strenuous task.

According to the selective engagement theory, the elderly are highly motivated to overcome all their cognitive shortcomings in any situation that they consider to be of importance to them. A visit to the doctor is usually considered very important because, to someone with their condition, it could determine whether they can retain their independence or not. 

Dealing With a Hostess Personality

Sometimes, taking care of a person with a Hostess Personality can be a daunting task. If you take them to a doctor or report their behavior to family members, they will not display the symptoms that you ‘claim’ that they are exhibiting. Your credibility with the doctor or relatives may be put in doubt, leading to frustration.

The following methods can be used to deal with a Hostess Personality:

• Talk to your elderly relative and try to convince them that you have their best interests at heart. Assure them that revealing their affliction is not an attempt to get rid of them and that it is for their own good.
• Inform the doctor about what is happening privately. The doctor will know the best way to deal with the situation.

Although dealing with a relative who has Alzheimer’s can be difficult, especially if they exhibit a Hostess Personality, showing great care and devotion goes a long way in improving their condition. 

Taking care of an Alzheimer’s patient is usually a round-the-clock task. If you are not always available to be with them, hiring someone to take care of them in the familiar comfort of your home is the next best option.

Working Through An Elderly Loved One's Resistance To Care

We face a number of challenges as we get older. Sometimes, our older loved ones are resistant to the idea of receiving assistance or additional care. It can be frightening to feel like one's independence is being infringed upon. Your loved one may have spent their life working hard to create a great life for the people they care about. Now, they are looking into a future where that may need to change. That is an intimidating prospect for anyone.

So let's take a look at some ways to help an elderly loved one move past their fears and discomfort.

1. Identify the reasons for hesitation and resistance.
The best place to start is at the beginning. Have a frank discussion about the challenges your loved one is facing and how they envision their future care. Explore your loved one's point of view. Chances are good they won't come straight out and give specific reasons; but they may provide enough information in context clues to figure it out. Wait for a relatively calm time to have this discussion.

2. Explain your own needs in relation to their care.
The elderly of today faced different social circumstances than younger people do today. It was not uncommon to expect family to contribute to care when they were younger. Unfortunately, there are many people out there working two jobs to take care of their own families or stay afloat. Being a caretaker and staying afloat just isn't possible for many. Explain your own life situation clearly so your elderly loved one can also understand the challenges you're facing in your own life and how homecare assistance will help you.

3. Reinforce that your loved one does have choices.
A trial run is a good way to get your loved one used to the idea of assistance. This will give them an opportunity to develop some rapport with the caregiver and see how valuable they can be. Furthermore, reinforce that they do have a choice in caregivers. It can be uncomfortable to know that you're going to have a stranger in your home. Assure them they do have recourse if they don't like the caregiver or there is a personality clash.

4. Assisting caregivers can extend independence and autonomy.
The point most overlooked about assisted care is how it can extend independence. The human body simply does not hold up as well as we get older. That makes doing chores like laundry, hauling things up and down stairs, much more dangerous. A serious sickness, bad fall, or broken bones can result in your elderly loved one needing to go into an assisted living home. On the other hand, an assisting caregiver can provide the help your loved one needs to stay safe and healthy in their own home.

Assisting caregivers can significantly improve the quality of life of elderly loved ones. Contact Visiting Angels today to see how we help our clients maintain a safe, high quality of life in their own home.